On 7th February 2009 at 9:00am I should be on the plane to Loughborough UK. I'm going to spend 5 months there as an Erasmus exchange student ...I've recently realized that it's quite a big deal for me. I have flown only once so far, been only twice to Britain and still walking in my father's shoes. Guess this will be a lesson for me. But there's so much freedom about it, isn't it? I've been thinking it over and over and came to the point when I consider taking care of myself more difficult than taking care of someone else. But I'll hopefully realize that everything doesn't have to be perfect. Sure I need to be prepared properly but I sometimes feel like if I was trying to stop some old vase that is right about to fall to pieces. I mean that it's good for life not to be permanently terrified.I must admit that I envy some of friends who can stay calm when I would never stay calm, who can speak and their voice doesn't shiver.It's quite admirable. But anyway, Loughborough is going to experience one maybe terrified but at same time dreamy boy from Usti nad labem. If only I could create some future flashbacks in order to be sure that this will all really happen. Yes....you're right...I can't...It's actually beautiful about life. He invites us to a ride full of strenght, full of weakness, but above all full of surprises. Good night!!!

The first snow

I remember when I was small I would look at the falling snow for hours. I would count the snowflakes and also let them to land on my hand. Yesterday I looked out of the window and felt nothing. "It's the same every year. Snow in November and in Decemebr nothing,"I just murmured for myself. It's a change, isn't it? Well, even the brightness of the snow isn't so bright as it used to be. I need to take some courses about snow. It has definetely turned into greyness. What a success that one can turn snow into greyness. It's almost miraculous. What a pity that it's much more harder the other way round. But it's worth trying. We should also help the others to get this greyness down...How? Just read what's in the picture.

I have just read 80 pages of The picture of Dorian Grey...
Can you imagine that we would never grow old?? This is a tricky question I guess.It would be very stressful for me to get freezed in one period of life...Doesn't life make sense in its continuity? It's unbelievable how we change though. How many faces and how many contradictory opinions can one have? This leads to another question...Who am I then? Do I exist in unity or am I split up into different but equal me? ...Let's get back to the fact that we grow old...As Shakespeare wonderfully uncovered, we all have certain periods of life...We are born,we are children......We are teenagers and then adults...And after that long period our life is cropped and only what's important remains...And this is old-age, the most precious age.....I have always wanted to peep under the surface....If this growing older will help me in this effort, I appreciate it very much. Good night...

merry Christmas???

I have visited one department store in Ústí recently. I was very disgusted to be honest. All those figures of Santa Clause made of anything but chocolate. You see all kinds of glittering trifles whose designer wants it to be sold by thousands. And that's it. Everything is sold by thousands today. Visual effect has reached its limit of ideal. You only take your small child to this department store and there he is....in Wonderland...But as well as Peter Pan realized the true state of things our small children hopefully will. Isn't it better to teach them to be grateful for every move instead of any other video game? Doesn't it make sense to dig out the real Christmas??? This input is rather my attempt to avoid meeting phenomenon called Consume in everything I'll do at this Christmas. All in all, one thing is clear. The warmth of home and peaceful family is the most beautiful present ever.